Work From Home Mothering
How Work From Home Mothering Wrecked my Life
and Gave Me My Freedom
For me, the question of working from home was never whether to work at home but how to work at home.
I knew I needed to be home.
I homeschool the kids.
I have done many odd jobs during my child raising years. When the kids were young, I did child care. Later I cleaned homes and took them with me. They would watch videos while I cleaned. I have made mortar samples. I have sewn organic comforters. I have done database update calls.
I always knew that in my family, I needed to be available to the kids in a way that working outside the home prevented.
And this meant that I never earned a lot of money.
In fact, my need to work from home and my inability earn much money contributed to huge financial stress for my family–and to the breakdown of my marriage.
Phase 1: Affirmations and Goals on the Mirror
About 8 years ago, in 200, I realized that I needed to bring in substantial money while working from home.
I started with a clean slate and the question “what can I do?”
I was in the idealistic phase. I did “The Artist Way” with the intention of discovering my creative urges and passions. Then I would do what I love and the money would follow.
I brought home piles of women’s spirituality books and read “Simple Abundance”.
I did them all.
I wrote affirmations.
I wrote stories, in the present tense about what my life would be in 5 years. “I am sitting in a garden, wearing a silk skirt. I am drinking herbal tea and my children are completing a creative project they began last week.”
I did detailed financial analysis of exactly how much money I needed to bring in and set specific target goal dates. My goals were specific and quantifiable. “I am earning $300/week” pasted on the mirror to be read and affirmed every time I brushed my teeth.
I affirmed and affirmed; I visualized and visualized; but without concrete skills and actions, nothing happened.
At the end of the phase, I still cleaned houses and had met none of my goals.
Still broke.
Phase 2: Find a Product you Love and your Enthusiasm will Sell it.
Also known as “We don’t sell–we share.”
4 years ago the kids were older and I got more serious.
I found out about a company which sells essential oils.
I love these oils. They practically vibrate off the shelf with life force and I have experienced almost unbelievable healing with them.
“Great,”, I thought. “I can stand behind these.” I signed up for my first network marketing company when I didn’t even know what network marketing was.
So I listened to all the company DVD’s and signed up for all the teleconferences. I attended meetings and conventions.
In this phase, I started to pay money to work from home.
I wrote out my “why’s” for wanting to do business and I felt them all. “I want at have money to help my daughter if her marriage is bad.” “I want money so I can help the kids buy their first home.”
The truth was I just wanted money. Motivation was never my problem.
I was never comfortable with selling my products to family and friends. I mentioned what I was doing, of course, but I never wanted to expect sales from them. So from the beginning, I knew I would need to sell to strangers.
And so began a phase of expos and health classes at libraries.
I advertised and designed posters. I bought brochures and put together display tables.
Now my desire to work from home started to cost the family money. “That’s OK,” I thought. “You need to invest money to make money.” I believed that the money would come in the future. I was creating our safety net.
Meanwhile at home, I was still cleaning houses, only now I began to give massages as well.
I did massage out of my house but it was hell on the family. The house had to be immaculate so my clients would feel I was professional, and it had to be absolutely quiet during the massage. Neither was easy to manage with 2 kids, a dog and 2 cats.
And at the same time, my partner began work in a city 100 miles away. He would work during the week and only come home on the weekend. Our relationship had always been challenging; this added a new level of stress.
I brought in peanuts . My “business” was loosing money in ever greater chunks as I began to advertise more. None of the expos and classes were successful but I paid a lot of money, sometimes hundreds of dollars, for the chance to not earn money. After one particularly miserable period, I remarked “Well, it wasn’t a bad night. I only lost $100.”
I was a very funny business model.
Phase 3: I Need to Learn to Market Like the Big Boys.
I knew the key to my business success was selling to strangers and I knew that I was in business–not “sharing”. I decided my weak spot was marketing.
In this phase I enrolled in a $1500 marketing class recommended by a colleague in my MLM company. It was run by 2 men who promised to teach copy writing and website building. They had a money back guarantee if–and this was their very big if–if I followed their plan exactly. How could I go wrong?
Their classes, which were long winded 2 1/2 hour affairs, focused on the idea that you must become skilled at leading people into a sales decision. Leading is how they put it but coercing was a better description. You were to master a script which applied pressure on them to buy, and even cut them off from communication with their spouse. The idea was to make the sale right away. The fear was that if you allowed the customer to wait, they wouldn’t buy.
And you practiced the flawed logic on cold calls before even building a website to get leads. (Oh, and they would help you with that website for more thousands of dollars)
So at this point, pulling out my credit card was a familiar gesture. I bellied up, making myself “teachable” and having committed myself to “follow their advice completely” I paid $300 for some very cold leads.
And I began to dial.
Making cold calls was an interesting experience. People were much nicer than I thought they would be. They were certainly nicer than I ever was with a telemarketer. Some people were very lonely and just wanted to talk. I liked perking up their day.
But it bothered me that while I was a telemarketer for my business, in my personal life I was on the no-call list. It bothered me that these people never asked me to call them.
And besides, I didn’t get any sales.
By the end of this phase, I knew I could never market like that–in the boy’s world. I had credit card debt from my business which never made any money. I was now doing massage in a studio outside the home–no longer even trying to work from home. And I still cleaned houses.
My partner was a wreck from the stress of supporting his family and living 100 miles away.
And it all fell apart.
My relationship disintegrated.
Homeschooling the kids was threatened.
Selling the home seemed likely.
My “vision boards” of where I would be in 5 years were a farce.
Phase 4: Out of the Ashes Grows a Flower
Sometimes you have to loose everything to get what you want.
My divorce was terrible for me. It shined a beacon on many areas of my life where I had failed. But at the same time, it illuminated all that I had.
I had no marriage, no financial peace, no social circle, no future plans.
But I have 2 great kids and we have a great relationship. I’m healthy and extremely tenacious.
And at this point I was introduced to Ann Sieg, a marketer and business trainer.
I was cautious. I had been though it all and I had the credit card debt to prove it. I didn’t need another nonsensical business guru to take my money and leave me without income. I needed to work from home, not spend from home.
But Ann is different. She teaches true business skills–applicable to any business. If you do an MLM, she teaches in far more depth than the pre-chewed business education that you find geared to MLM’s. She had deep knowledge of selling. She has a mind for numbers.
And she never “sold” me.
Slowly, over the period of 1 year, I tuned into her webinars and I began to see the wealth of knowledge she offers.
I found the help I needed to build a business at home. All the pieces are together. I have good products. I have sound sensible marketing training that is professional and personal at the same time.
And I have a team of people to consult with, commiserate with, and to cheer me on.
I have a business community.
I can now realistically build a business at home. It’s not a pie in the sky vision board business with lots of money, no work, silk skirts and chamomile tea. It’s a real business with a business plan, and a marketing strategy. And my business plan includes making more money than I spend.
What Phase are You On?
If my story sounds like yours, it’s because it’s a common one. Mothers want to work from home so that they can be flexible for their family and at the same time, contribute financially. Good intentions, high motivation and perseverance are all important. But at the end of the day, you need good business training.
If you want to work from home and make money, you must know how. And if you want to make money from an online business, the potential is great but the learning curve is steep. Again, you must know how.
The Attraction Marketer’s Manifesto is a good place to start when deciding to work from home. It discusses some options you have available and it presents one excellent tool for creating income at home.
It is not the only tool.
When you read the report, if it rings your chimes, contact me. I offer a free 1 hour consultation where I can answer your questions and present other tools which will help you work from home.
There is no obligation and I have no desire to “sell” you (although it is my great passion to be able to help other mothers work from home.”)
Through my long, winding path of working from home, I have had a passion–no–a pounding zeal for helping women to mother freely and earn money.
Mothering intensively and earning money are not mutually exclusive. They are challenging to weave together but not impossible. And I believe they should be the right of every mother.
As a starting place read The Attraction Marketer’s Manifesto to learn how to attract customers who want to buy from you.
